Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
