i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
