Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize