i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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