How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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