She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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