i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
