I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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