brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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