He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize