so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
