another moral hangover. fuck.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
