I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So much rum. So many feels.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize