On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
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