I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
