My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Two words: blizzard sex
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
