i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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