A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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