i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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