Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize