he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
