fuck your aforementioned shoe
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
