How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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