remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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