Pappa wants mamma naked
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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