Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
