sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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