Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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