you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
