'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
