im gay
i know
yea but for you.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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