I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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