Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
