3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
