Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
