Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
