We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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