I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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