Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
