My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
