She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
