I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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