Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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