a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
