This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
