There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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