i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
