I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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