READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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