Don't make out with my wife yet
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
