mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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