i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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