What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
