The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
