I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
