Sponge bath it is.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
