My cat gives me a boner
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize