I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
