what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
