so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
