the condom got lost in my hair
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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