ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
