I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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