the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
